Monday 11 March 2013

My Edited Version.

It was an ordinary day like usual were the birds would sing in the trees and everyone is quite. But then it became strange. I heard my neighbour say I can’t find my colourful blanket,my precious children and my flat screen televison.  I was suprised when she started to shout, everything became loud, everybody went crazy and I became scared.So I called my friend Lucy who was having a vacation in Hawwai. She” said calm down I will call the magican people”. I was so angry I hanged up.

I was really scared and shocked.My feeling wasn’t in a good mode so I went back over to my house and then.AAAAAH my house is gone everything is gone. I lost my mind. Then again my neighbour started screaming. What happened now. Really your house dissapeared .
A day like this will be werst day of my life.

15 hours later a man came out of nowhere he said would you like back your things and then we replied sort of kind of YES!!!. He said the three magic words abbra kadabra magic. They came back. But we had heeps of questions to ask. But he suddenly dissapeared  like a magican.

My neighbour Sally was full of joy and then our neighbourhood was happy again. So then after 15 minutes  I was still terrified so i took a vacation with lucy But then...

2 comments:

  1. You have done a good job of editing your work Marylin especially the first paragraph. You still need to check a few things to make it perfect though. Check your spelling carefully. Maybe asking a buddy to read through it would be helpful.

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